my son napped for a grand total of 20 minutes this morning and 20 minutes this evening. he then went to bed an hour later than normal. i had to go in to his room 4 times and lay him down because he kept standing up and "talking" before he finally settled down and went to sleep.
my daughter spent 90% of the day whining, crying or yelling at me. none of the things were worth whining, crying, or yelling about- what bowl her apple slices were in, what she was (and was not) going to eat for dinner, that it wasn't fair that i would put her brother's pajamas on but she had to put her's on herself. (honestly, if he was old enough to dress himself i would make him do it! but seeing as he is only 7 months old i'm going to have to give him a hand!) she even screamed at me as i was putting her to bed. nothing like some bed time love....... sigh.
i'm so tired. i feel like i'm about to lose my mind. i would give anything for a couple hours of peace. anything.
i so wish we had family near by that could take one or both of them for just a few hours.
of course, i still wouldn't get any "me" time. i'm so far behind on housework that i'd need someone to babysit the kids for a week to catch up. why am i so far behind? because i can't do anything while they are both awake. and since sprout seems to think that naps over 30 minutes aren't necessary, 90% of my day sees them both awake. what do i do? i have to watch to make sure bean doesn't "love" her brother too hard. (you have no idea how many times i had to say don't crush your brother today. and how many time-outs bean had for not listening to those very words.) i have to watch to make sure sprout doesn't do anything to hurt himself since he gets into everything. by the time bedtime rolls around i've been doing this for over 12 hours straight. don't forget the dog who wants more love and attention and the husband who wants me do to things for him too. i'm so tired i can barely move. so the dishes aren't done. the laundry isn't done. i haven't vacuumed in almost 2 weeks. (the house is so bad that i would need at least 3 days notice before i could have company- and that would just give me time to clean the worst parts) its not just the house though, i forgot to pay some of the bills the other day- yay, late fees that we can't afford!
oh yeah, i live here too don't i? well, i only get the opportunity to shower about 2 times a week. my laundry is always the last to be done. i am the bottom of the totem pole here. the least important thing in the house.
i feel like a complete failure. obviously no one is getting what they want and probably not even what they need either. i have no idea how i'm supposed to do everything and keep everyone happy. i look at all these other people and they seem happy, they look relatively sane, and while their house might not be spotless, i bet there isn't mold growing in their kitchen. i want to be one of those people. why can't i be one of those people......
7 comments:
Oh my lovely mate. I want to give you a BIG cuddle and tell you to get some sleep and that you are doing more than just fine! You are so great. Look at your beautiful Halloween costumes, look at your cleverness at every turn and look at your beautiful children. I am in awe of you constantly (and just quietly, my house is degenerating rapidly as we speak...we just can't be and do everything for everyone). Wish I was nearby to give you a few hours break......
Deep breath! DEEP breath!
I'm sorry no one lives close, to help you. That is so hard. I don't know how life would be if I didn't have people close. I am sure "Nonnie" would take Ellie sometime! :) Maybe she'd go, if Adam went, too?
I never get the "alone" time either- if that makes you feel better. I pawn my kids off so that I can do homework or clean. I think it's just the life of a mom with young kids. You know?
BIG HUGS! I will pray for a better day, for you!
Oh my dear friend! I am so sorry! And I can so relate. I feel like I'm eternally behind and failing at all my roles. I think we all feel that way, at least sometimes. It's hard. I wish we were close enough together for us to get say, let's shirk ALL our duties for an evening and go out to have some fun!! You are an awesome mom, Carey - really!
Believe me, I'm in exactly the same boat. I just finally gave up caring. LOL!
I just looked back over your blog posts for the last month and I see the evidence of a wonderful mother. You've done what a GOOD mom does, and have put your kids first. You've made not one, but TWO costumes. You've baked cookies with Bean. You've shared bubbles with Sprout. You've taken the kids to the pumpkin patch and to birthday parties. Who cares about the house? (But *do* carve out some time just for you! You deserve it!)
You definitely need some alone time - but the housework, eh...it can wait! I agree, you are doing some amazing "mommy-ing" lately, so you can't feel like a failure in that realm!
But the whining...ugh, the whining and no napping...it is torture, I swear!
Amen, sister.... we are living the same life - just about a year or so apart!
I feel like I'll never catch up.
Remember it will not last
forever, in a few months the kids
will be chasing each
other around the house and mummy will get her free time. Happy kids matter not the house work and your kids always look wonderful and very well cared for. You are always doing wonderful fun stuff with them .
It does get better, i promise (well of course the fighting starts but even that can be cute sometimes)
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