Seems kinda early...

is 14 weeks to early to feel a baby move?
for the past 3 days i've felt a very faint random tap inside me that i have NO other explanation for. it happens 2-4 times a day. pretty sure it is "sprout" (yeah, that is what i decided to name this one... come on, bean and sprout! you can't get any cuter than that!) trying to make his/her presence known. i didn't feel bean move 'til about 18 weeks so 14 weeks seems a little early but maybe not? oh well, i guess i should just enjoy it. :)

Thursday's Theme: Ritual

rituals- we could have done any stage of bed time- especially last night when she said "i love you!" and i said "i love you too sweetie" and she said "i love you too sweetie mommy!" awwwwww. but i decided to go with a habit of bean's that i find amusing.

we don't know why she does it. neither one of us does it. where did this come from???
bean has a "ritual" of removing her shoes then immediately removing her socks and placing them inside her shoes. she does it every single time she wears socks and shoes- and she always takes them off because, well, toddlers hate shoes and socks from what i can tell. (we had to make a deal with her- shoes have to be worn when we go out BUT when you are at home you don't have to wear them. it is working well so far.) so the other day when she was playing in the sandbox i snapped this picture of her little pink shoes with the socks peeking out. mostly so i wouldn't forget how she did this but also so i could share it with you all. :)

want to see more rituals? stop by picture this!

9 Years...

9 years ago today i got married. i was 24 years old. i thought that working full time while by husband finished school and worked two part time jobs was going to be stressful. HA! somehow life has only gotten more stressful as time has gone on. but i have to say it has been pretty darn wonderful too. i wish i had a picture of us all dressed up and 9 years younger but sadly i don't have any pictures that old on the computer... that was definitely in my pre-digital days people!
so, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to me! oh, and i guess to him too. he he! :)

(no, we aren't doing anything exciting today. sunday we are going out to eat and to a professional soccer game... it was the only day we could get a sitter.)

oh i'm back!- just found my present! (he got me a present!) a bottle of aromatherapy sleep lotion (i don't sleep worth crap since i got pregnant), a bottle of yummy smelling body lotion, a gift card to old navy, and a box of hot tamales (mmmmm, cinnamon candy!). what a good husband.
i know, you want to know what i got him.... well, nothing of course. we agreed no gifts! bah!

Doctor Update

ah, yes. i'm back from the OB. turns out i didn't have too much to worry about weight wise... i only gained around 2-2.5 pounds (i don't remember the exact amount from the last visit). and no one (nurse or doctor) said anything about my weight so it can't that bad. as a matter of fact, the doctor came in and looked at my chart and said "everything looks perfect here on paper so lets take a listen and see how the baby's doing." so, i'm perfect- on paper ;) she also mentioned that my uterus had started to pop out- well, DUH! i only have 3 pairs of pants that fit and my stomach is ROUND not flabby like from fat. it is pretty obvious that i've started to pop!

fun stuff now:
the doctor found the heartbeat and said it sounded really good. then there were a couple of strange sounds. bean looks up and says (no joke) "the baby tooted!" and she started cracking up. the doctor about lost it! through her giggles she tried to explain to bean that that sound was the baby kicking and swimming inside mommy. she seemed confused as to why the baby would kick mommy but since the doctor said it was good to have the baby moving around she didn't argue.
bean was the star of the show. she had everyone there laughing and smiling. she really liked all the attention too. not necessarily a good thing seeing as in a few months she is going to have to share the stage with a sibling.... i'll worry about that later.

i was told to get more rest and to take breaks from bean. the doctor claims this will make me feel better. how i'm supposed to accomplish that remains to be seen. i don't have a lot of family close by and i certainly can't afford a sitter. oh well. we shall see how it goes.

oct 9= afp blood test
oct 23= next ob appointment

Random Beanisms

here is a shot of bean posing with mommy's obsession- food! mommy's been eating far too much lately. mommy has a slight problem with stress eating.... my afraid to get weighed at the doctor today!

anyways, back to bean.

1. bean wants to name the new baby "baby lettuce". yes, lettuce! (when she was about 16 months old she named one of her dolls lettuce. we were surprised because we didn't even know she knew that word. now she wants to name her sibling that.) sigh. i think one lettuce in the house is enough.

2. bean invented her own game this summer. it is called "bump ball team" and it involves hitting beach balls with plastic golf clubs into a soccer goal. it is a classic. everyone should be playing it by next year! ;)

3. yesterday she told me it was snack time. i told her it was almost dinner time so no snack. she said "let me look at the clock!" she walk to the kitchen door looked up at the wall and said "yep! clock says its snack time!" what the?!?!?!?! (and no she did not get a snack it was quarter to five!)

that's all for now- gotta go to the OB! :)

Best Shot Monday

here is my best shot for the week. you see we went back to visit bean's friend the orangutan and the whole group was sitting by the window! wow! so i got several shots and i just love this one. his eyes just go right into you! of course i have to add a few more shots because they were all so fun!


enjoy my orangutan pictures and then head over to tracey's and check out everyone elses
best shots! :)

Uggh.

i've been struggling all week with writing a post. it seems like everything i think of is negative- and who wants to listen to that crap. i'm trying to come up with happy thoughts and fun stuff to write about but it just isn't there. it isn't that i'm physically unwell- other than being very tired, i feel fine on the outside. it is the inside that isn't doing so well.

see, i haven't yet felt good about this pregnancy. i haven't been happy or excited. i feel indifferent in every way. i thought when i had the ultrasound it would be the thing to make me excited- i mean come on, who wouldn't feel good seeing their baby squirm and wiggle? me i guess. my thoughts were "yep, it's a baby". no emotion, no nothing.

things have gotten progressively worse. i feel awful all the time. i want to cry but can't because i can't cry in front of my daughter. i'm alone 80% of the time- just me and the bean. what am i going to do when this new one is born?? how will i cope?? if i want to cry all the time now, what am i going to do then?? am i a terrible mother because i can't seem to love my unborn child??

there, i got it off my chest. sorry to be such a downer... i was just hoping i'd feel better if i wrote it down. sigh.

Best Shot Monday

Happy Monday!

for today's best shot i thought i'd share this picture i took of my bean at the zoo last week. there is something really funny about taking your child's picture while she is sitting inside a sculpture of the worlds stinkiest flower! even funnier, 3 days before i took this picture my sister took one of her two girls sitting in the same stinky flower- i guess great minds think alike! HA!

also, i had to add another shot of bean and the orangutan. i know i posted one on tuesday but come on they are CUTE! she was so in love with this animal. she didn't want to leave the exhibit. in this picture bean is attempting, unsuccessfully, to get the orangutan to stick out it's tongue!

lastly, bean made up a song yesterday in the car. it went like this:
"i love, love my mama, mama.
i love my maggers, maggers. (her nickname for the magpie)
i love, love, love my toys!"
i'm a little sad that i am not loved as much as the toys... but i guess i should be happy that i come before the dog! ;)

don't forget to stop by picture this and check out what everyone else was doing this week!

Things I Learned...

things i learned this week:

1. bean loves letters, especially the first letter of her name. when she sees it she will say "E! E is for (her real name), e is for elephant, e is for egg!" the book "there is a monster at the end of this book" has some very large type in it. when she sees these bigger letters she will tell you what they are. "look mommy, E! another E mommy! that is a T!"

2. she recognizes her name when she sees it spelled out. my husband was drawing on the magnadoodle and asking her what the pictures were of. she was doing a great job despite her daddy's questionable artistic skills. he thought he'd trick her by writing her name. she glanced at the magnadoodle and said "that's (insert her name)!" then she proceeded to spell it for him while pointing at the letters.

3. she is now interested in what things say and/or spell. she will point to the words in books and say "what that say mommy??" if i write a word on the refrigerator she come over and ask "what that spell??" it is fun. :)

4. bean thinks that she can spell now too. she will go to the refrigerator and move letters and numbers around and tell me what she has just spelled. today she spelled dog: 2-2-5-upside down 3. HA! yesterday it was cat: h-s-w-7-j-0. it is just SO awesome that she understands that words are made of letters at her age! now if i can just get her to realize that numbers do not make words. ;)

5. she is a big girl. she can run and kick a ball at the same time with surprisingly good rhythm. i watch her and think, where did she learn that??

6. when i child says they don't want to try rice... don't make them. she put it into her mouth swallowed and then started gagging. lets just say all of dinner and some of lunch ended up on her dinner plate! ugg! she didn't puke again and we aren't sure why she did it but... UGG! thank god my husband actually helped clean it up!

lastly, what i know. this week was rough at times. the past couple of years with bean have had extreme ups and downs. i know i haven't done everything "right". but i know that i did it the best i could. and that is ok, bean doesn't expect us to be perfect. and when i comes right down to it, i think we've done alright. this was totally confirmed last night. when we were putting bean to bed she rolled on to her side and looked up at her father and i. my hand was on the crib rail, she reached up and touched my fingers and said "i love you so much guys!" then cuddled back down into her pillow. sigh. nothing will ever feel as good as that.

Thursday's Theme: Three

it is thursday and time for our theme, three. since i have been less than well over the past week i have taken very few pictures, my husband however has tried his best. these three shots are courtesy of my husband's cell phone. i think he actually takes better pictures with the cell than with the actual camera! he never gets close enough when he uses the camera, so i end up cropping half the picture out because there is too much background! with the cell phone he gets much closer as you can see. he also got a bit creative with the coloring in the shots. so, great job husband of mine! thanks for stepping in and taking some great pictures when i was down and out!

look at that last shot there. i can't tell you how much that cracks me up!!! :) what a camera ham!

if you want to see how other people looked at three, head on over to tracey's and check it out!

Another good day...

i'm going to start by saying this picture was NOT taken today- it is only 69 degrees right now so skirt and tank top not quite warm enough. BUT oh my gosh! 69 degrees! i am so happy! i LOOOOOOOOOVE fall weather! (i don't think i can put enough emphasises on the LOOOOVE part!) fall is full of great things like trips to the apple orchard, playing in big piles of leaves, picking pumpkins at the farm, and of course COOL temperatures! YAY!! woo hoo for fall!

today has been great again. playgroup started back up and it was great to be back. it is nice to have a good place to take bean where she can have fun with other kids. (and i don't have to be her source of entertainment!) she was scared at first but warmed up in about 2 minutes so everything was fine. we all had a really good time.
tomorrow library story time starts up again. so we will be headed there to pick out new books, listen to stories, and sing and dance.

my thoughts right now are on this subject (because it is FALL outside!)- what should bean be for halloween??? i really would like to try to make the costume this year BUT what will i be making? i just can't come up with anything that i'm really excited about. she was a chicken her first year and a witch last year. hmmmm......

So much better!

i flipped the mattress, got a new mattress pad, and a new pillow. boy was i more comfortable! and can you believe that the headache has finally subsided! THANK YOU GOD. :)

so, seeing as it was a cool day- in the 60s! (it was very cloudy and gray outside) bean and i decided to go to the zoo. we packed up a quick lunch and headed out with our windbreakers and umbrella, just in case. i love going to the zoo on days like this because there is NO ONE there. everyone is so afraid of rain that they stay home and we actually get to enjoy ourselves! woo hoo!

the zoo was fantastic. the weather was fantastic. and bean made a new friend. that is a picture of bean loving on her. she totally fell in love with this female orangutan. she kept asking to go back there so she could see her again! (see this is why the zoo being empty was great, if it was crowded she never would have gotten this close and i NEVER would have been able to get a picture of it!) it was the best day i've had in over a week. bean and i had FUN today. i was so happy it nearly brought tears to my eyes.

the only problem i had was after we got to the zoo, i started walking across the parking lot and gasped in pain. oooh yeah, the migraine is gone but oh the sciatic nerve pain kicked in! so every step was a little ouchy today and some were really ouchy. but hey, after a 4 day headache a little pain in my butt is not so bad. ;)

Best Shot Monday

yeah, i'm late today.
i kinda jumped the gun the other day when i said i was back from the dead. see i developed a migraine friday and well, i still have it today. caring for a two year old when you feel like your head is going to split in half- yeah, that is FUN.

anyways, here is a cutie shot of bean working in her kitchen. she played with daddy A LOT this weekend, so this shot is courtesy of him. (i haven't taken a picture in about 6 days) go daddy!

i feel like a lousy parent. i know it isn't my fault that i don't feel good but i am to blame for the way i am reacting to it. i raise my voice way too much. i then feel like the worst person on earth because it makes bean cry. not just any cry, a cry of fear accompanied by the hugest crocodile tears. sigh. yeah, i'm rotten. :(

Back from the Dead

wow. sorry i was MIA for the past few days. i was down and out in a major way. everything would be much better if i could just get some good solid sleep. ahh, sleep where toddlers don't scream your name, dogs don't bump you with their nose to tell you to "get up and let me out", where husbands don't snore, and where when you get up for the 6th time that night to pee you can actually fall back to sleep! i'm NOT even going to talk about the nausea.
oh, i've also decided that all pregnant women in the first trimester should be provided with a cook and a cleaning service because OMG you can't do these things when you are newly pregnant!! you just CAN'T!

ok, i'm done talking about me for now. here is something to make you smile. bean exploring the world with her magnifying glass. she got it as part of her bug collecting kit. she carried it all over the backyard today and checked out everything she found. it was most amusing that she thought that she needed to hold the glass up to her eye like that! it kept trying to show her to pull it away from her face but she wouldn't pay any attention to what i was saying. this was the highlight of our day. (the low-light of our day is the fact that bean will NOT take a nap and i feel like i'm about to loose my freaking mind! ahhhhhhhhhhh!)

The park wore me out...

i try to take bean to the park every morning. we usually leave around 9 am to avoid the heat of the day. today was a little different. bean didn't get up until 8:45. so the park was put on hold until 10:00 am. it was also different for another reason. i was hot and TIRED before we even got there. i was walking SLOW. i felt like i was breathing heavy. i felt really bad when i realized that i was trying to get bean to leave early. so, i stopped at the water and let her walk down and look at the water bugs and such. we found a daddy long legs near by and i managed to get it into her bug jug. she happily carried it most of the way home. overall it was a successful park trip but i came home feeling light headed, achy, and exhausted.

i know that being pregnant is never easy. the symptoms seem to be coming sooner and are harder to deal with this time around though. AND it seems to be exponentially harder with a toddler. i don't think i've ever been so exhausted. i don't think i've ever felt so guilty- there i times i don't want her around me! :( sigh. i makes me a little sad that i feel this way already, i mean, i have SO much longer to go!

Best Shot Monday

yeah, it is real late for best shot monday but i just got home and still wanted to play!!
:)

here is a picture of bean picking flowers for her mommy at the park the other day. i think i got about 8 or so of those clover flowers. at that point i told her she better leave some for the bunnies because they like to eat them, and believe it or not she actually stopped! she listened to what i said! woo hoo!

hope you all had a great labor day weekend!!!