you are thinking, "how could it be fine and send you to have a breakdown??" right?
well, bean is doing anything and everything to get my attention and HOLD it. i can't leave her sight, even to go to the bathroom, without her freaking out. she does whatever you tell her not to do. she asks for daddy to come home, not because she wants to see him but because she wants him to take care of sprout. she pouted, whined, and cried- A LOT.... well, a lot for her.
and all this is completely normal for someone her age. plus, there were moments of good spread about here and there. that is why i have to say it was fine overall.
the breakdown comes in because i'm NOT used to fighting with my little girl like this. i've never had to deal with some of the stuff she's done in the past few days. she has always followed directions and listened to what we said to her. it is very difficult when you are suddenly facing the exact opposite. i mean she colored on the carpet, on purpose, right in front of me! when i asked her why she would do that she said, "i just wanted to." i said, "but it is naughty to color on the carpet!" and she responded, "sometimes i like to be naughty" and then she smiled. arrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh! so the coloring book and markers went to time out. and then the high pitched banshee wailing started. she literally screamed for 15 minutes. sigh.
i think she could tell i was about to lose it when i was tucking her into bed because she stood up and gave me a hug and said, "its ok mommy. its ok." all i could do was hug her back.
i must admit that i cried for 15 minutes after i put her to bed. i cried because i suddenly feel unable to parent my little girl, she has turned into someone else. i cried because i feel like i'm ignoring my baby boy because i have to have him in the crib or bouncy seat 90% of the day- bean is too demanding of my time. (and i so just want to hold and cuddle him!) and i cried because i'm just so damn tired that there isn't anything else i can do.
so here is to a better today. it has been a little rough already but what can you do?
i guess i'll just stare at this picture and try to remember what is good......
7 comments:
Aw! You should have called me and cried in my ear. I have been there and done that! It will pass- I promise! She just has to get used to the idea that you love her and sprout, and that you are still HER mommy,too! It gets easier with each passing day, I promise! And don't worry, Sprout will not even know the difference that you aren't holding him 24/7. I bouncy and the bed were Matthew's "home away from home," as well.
If you need to vent- you know where I am! :)
Ouch, that's not the making of a fun day at all.
Hopefully today will be better - try to hang in there!
Bless your heart! ((((Big hugs))))
I know this is likely coming for me too next week, and I'm not looking forward to it. I think it's completely normal for Bean to have this adjustment period though. I really hope it goes by quickly and she acclimates to having Sprout around. You just hang in there!
Oh....see, this is the part that nobody tells 2nd time around Moms because you just don't want to scare anyone into never having another one.
But it is ALL completely normal. Bean is acting exactly like a little two-year old who has had her world rocked should. Sprout is going to spend a lot more time fending for himself than Bean EVER did. And you are going to feel a huge amount of guilt and frustration that you can't do everything you used to do with and for Bean, and you won't even get to do half of it with little Sprout.
It is all happening like it should.
I know that isn't what you want to hear, and probably makes you want to cry all over again...but it has to happen that way so that in a few months when things get infinitely easier...
You will have a happy Bean who understands that Sprout is here to stay and really loves her little brother. Sprout will be calm, independent and able to entertain himself - yet still think Bean is THE best person in the world when she comes over to play with him. And YOU will have had a little bit of sleep and a little bit of time to figure all the juggling out - and you will start to wonder if maybe you could do three kids!
Ha ha, maybe not that part...I don't know if I'll ever get there - but I promise you that you all just need a little bit of time to adjust.
((Hugs)) and wishing some good naps for you this weekend. At the very least a good soak in the tub. Remember to take care of yourself - you owe it to those two little cuties to have a semi-rested Mommy.
((Hugs!!)) I don't know that I can add much to what's already been said, but I do think this is totally and completely normal. Bean's world has been turned upside down, and she needs to adjust to the new order, accept that Sprout's here to stay and understand that you still love her just as much. You are a great mom and I have no doubt that you will all make it through! And, it will be more than worth it. :o)
Sorry I missed this the other day. I suspect it's going to be up and down for a while. Sending good vibes your way....
I'm having some of these same problems and feelings, too! This day sounds like several of my own! I have an older daughter who is almost 3, and a 3 month old. Sometimes - there are many tears! I can't always hold it together, and the little one finally gives in and says - "It's ok, honey. I love you. I'm here." That just makes me feel even more inadequate! It's such a hard step to go from mother of 1 to mother of 2!
Amanda:)
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